I keep returning to the idea of balance with this piece. Not perfect balance, but the constant shifting between opposing forces. The push and pull between rest and responsibility, wellness and survival, presence and escape. There are periods in my life where all I want to do is create art (where making becomes its own world and everything else fades into the background, {I really love it there}). Work disappears. Time disappears. Sometimes even my body disappears for a while. Other times I am pulled sharply back into reality and responsibility, and working that job that I really love.
This piece feels like standing in that space between extremes. (Classic Linnea, fire/water vibes, ammi right?)
There is also something in this work about cycles ending, or at least wanting them to end. I thought a lot about chronic illness while making it. (As is something I tend to think of alot given my condition). There is a wishful thinking that exists sometimes (maybe a quiet hope that one day things will simply feel easier, lighter, less consuming, big dreams yes.) Intellectually, I know chronic illness is not something I can outrun or cure through sheer willpower, but emotionally I still find myself searching for portals, openings, alternate routes toward feeling better. Slow Bloom reminds me that all grow takes time. I want to run there, but thats not an option.
The circular (circulation?) forms in this piece began to feel like portals or vortexes to me. Places of possibility, uncertainty, and transformation. They ask me to consider what happens when I stop avoiding my own wellness and begin choosing it more intentionally. (Sounds easy, right?) Maybe this piece marks the end of an era where I was not fully prioritizing my health, or maybe it simply acknowledges how difficult that choice can be over and over again.
I also kept thinking about the complexity of the human body while creating this work, how strange it is to live inside something so intricate and not fully understand how it works. There can be a *disjointed* feeling in that realization. A disconnect between mind and body. Between what is visible and what is happening beneath the surface.
For me, this piece does not fully resolve those tensions. It sits within them. Somewhere in the middle.
If you’d like to hear more about the particulars of the show, check out Linnea and John’s podcast This is Not Art Therapy (The Podcast) for more banter. In Episode 47: Linnea-sode (Slow Bloom) {Art Show/ Fundraiser}, they discuss the show in greater detail.
June 10 Update- After today’s ep 48 recording, John suggested the theme “In the Middle” for our next episode. Unsure if he is aware of the connection.